A lady reached out to the Reddit community seeking advice on how to navigate her challenging family dynamic.
She wrote, “Growing up, my (23f) aunt (now 45f) was childfree in the sense that she actively didn’t like children and would avoid coming to events that had children. She would tell my brother and I that children are dirty and scream and annoy everybody until they learn to act like adults”.
Furthermore, she attempted to drive a wedge between OP’s relationship with her Mom, “What I found the worst about my aunt was how she used to talk about my mom, her older sister. My mom has been single since my dad abandoned us for his affair partner”.
“I’ve overheard my aunt commenting that my mom’s selfish for having children and promiscuous, and our dad probably isn’t even our real dad, which is why he left my mom.”
Troubled by her Aunt’s negativity, OP told her Mom about the comments when she was 10. Her Mom promptly shut the door on her relationship with her Aunt, “She refused to keep us in the same room as our aunt, and we’ve really had no relationship with her.”
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Aunt facing health challenges after a car accident
OP lost contact with her Aunt until she was 18 years old when her aunt began trying to reconnect with her. However, things took a complicated turn this year, “My aunt was hit by a car and has had a whole slew of health problems. Because of that, she’s been needing to visit the hospital frequently and will need to start physical therapy”.
The issue is that her house is very far from most health facilities, and she has no one to transport her back and forth, considering that she stays alone. The aunt does not have enough money to buy a more conveniently situated home and likes her current home because it has lots of space for her dogs.
The solution (according to the Aunt) is for her to move in with OP so she can have easier access to the medical facilities. However, OP is not in favor of this idea because:
- The Aunt has two dogs she is unwilling to part with, which would become OP’s responsibility.
- This could strain OP’s relationship with her Mom and cause a family divide.
Furthermore, the Aunt was very cruel to OP and her brother growing up, and her “’childfree’-ness” left a bad taste in her mouth.
She told her Aunt that she would not make this accommodation for her, “she called me an (expletive deleted) for abandoning her when she’s vulnerable,” she wrote, adding that her Mom and Brother support her but that her grandparents think she should accommodate the Aunt so they could stop all the fighting.
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The comment section has little sympathy for the Aunt
One commenter wrote, “You should just tell her that people recovering from injuries ‘are dirty and scream and annoy everybody until they can take care of themselves again,’” adding, “You reap what you sow, auntie….” Another one said, “Tell her you’re dog free, ” which got over 2000 upvotes.
Another commenter offered a viable solution: “Then they (the grandparents) should move in with the aunt and drive her around. This way, the aunt has someone to take care of her, and no one is fighting. Everyone gets what they want and are happy. Problem solved.”
A difficult situation for this young lady to navigate.
However, the Aunt seems unwilling to meet anyone halfway. She wants to keep her dogs and house and calls her niece an unsavory names for abandoning her.
If you ask us, this is probably not the best way to strengthen clearly strained family relationships.
What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments!
Byron is a writer and personal finance nerd. He has a keen interest in investing and The Stock Market. When he is not working, he enjoys watching sports and gaming online.
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