If you do something nice for your partner and instead of appreciating it, they end up finding fault, what should you do?
Recently, a woman shared a story about a meal that ended in a huge fight with her BF. She starts off on a happy note, “My boyfriend (24M) and I (21F) have recently hosted a dinner at his place with some of his coworkers and their partners. He recently got a promotion at work and his friends over there were asking for a treat”
She wanted to do something nice to celebrate. “I’m South Asian (Bangladeshi), and sometimes when I have leftovers from some of the traditional dishes I cook, I pack it for his lunch. Apparently, many of his coworkers liked the smell and look of his food, and some even tried it and liked it.”
She offers to cook for his friends
Knowing how much his friends liked her food, she offered to prepare a traditional South Asian meal for them. Her boyfriend loved the idea but told her to keep in mind that two of them were vegetarians.
The woman prepared a huge meal with traditional South Asian vegetarian dishes like white rice, tomato chutney, mashed potatoes, spinach, onion fritters, fried eggplants, and Chinese vegetables. To keep the non-vegetarians happy, she also cooked spicy egg curry and chicken curry.
Evening came, and the meal went very well. The coworkers enjoyed the food and complimented her cooking. They even asked questions about the best way to eat each item, and she gladly explained everything to them.
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But the boyfriend’s not happy…
Once the guests left, however, things turned ugly. Out of nowhere, her boyfriend started to rant about how she hadn’t cooked them a traditional South Asian meal.
Apparently, his idea was that she should have served things like biryani, chicken roast, spicy beef curry, kebab, fried fish, etc., which are usually offered at weddings. He tells her that her food was just not “up to standards”.
The woman was taken aback. She replied that these dishes are just as common in South Asia, and are all very delicious. She made the entire meal from scratch with the right ingredients, so how could he call them non-traditional?
Then she reminds him that she cooked vegetarian-friendly dishes because he had specifically told her that two of his coworkers were vegetarians.
However, her boyfriend remained unconvinced. He kept telling her that they should’ve just taken the guests to a restaurant and that the woman was lucky none of them were Indians.
He even goes so far as to call her food nothing better than “grass.”
The woman found all of this quite hurtful, but ended up wondering if she should have checked with him about the dishes to cook.
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Neither did he help, nor did he find out what she was cooking.
The woman’s post received around 1,500 comments. Most sided with her and found the boyfriend’s reaction repulsive. One Redditor, who received more than 26,000 upvotes, commented, “Neither did the boyfriend bother to help her while cooking, nor did he care enough to even ask her what she was making. He just didn’t seem to appreciate her at all.”
Others pointed out that the meal was in no way “just grass”. “She made chicken curry, so it wasn’t entirely vegetarian. I don’t know what this guy’s problem is, but reading the menu gives one the impression this is the sort of dinner you get up early to get a good start on it.”
One of the commenters saw a deeper reason behind the boyfriend’s tirade. “I’m guessing he was mad he wasn’t the center of attention and everyone was paying attention to OP. Not him. He probably couldn’t answer their questions. Sounds like she out-shadowed him and his manly feelings are offended.”
What should she have done? Was the boyfriend just being a jerk, or did he have a point? Leave us a comment with your thoughts below!
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